In my last post, I laid out the introduction to my revelation that I need to – and I CAN – be free from fear – also known as anxiety. (Be sure you go back and read the beginning if you missed it earlier…)
Being in the grips of worry for so long, I’ve never really believed anything else was even possible. I mean, I’ve known I’ve WANTED to be free… but never truly thought it actually could happen. (And, don’t get me wrong… I’m definitely not there yet – but for the first time I recognize the possibility).
Why am I afraid? What am I anxious about? Oh, I can create scenarios for pretty much any and every event all day long – which, as you can imagine, is exhausting…
As our pastor said Sunday, “Fear sucks joy, steals energy, and robs you of your life.” Which is pretty much the antithesis of what I hope to portray here at Everyday Faith and Fitness. I want women to “Live Well! Love Life!”
And, I’ve always thought that this didn’t affect my faith because I’m not afraid of dying so much. Heaven is going to be awesome! It’s the possibility of surviving the awful and having to relive it everyday that worries me most.
Perhaps when Jesus said “Be still!” in the midst of a raging storm, he wasn’t speaking to the waves but to me. I clearly need to recognize these moments of anxiety as opportunities to invite God in closer. And perhaps you can do the same…
And here’s where our Holy Yoga training circles back into the picture. From my notes this week:
Revelation is awareness – not deliverance. As I mentioned above, I’m certainly not living fearlessly at this point. I’ve had my revelation that I need to. That I CAN find freedom from fear. But now the hard work begins…
And sadly this requires dying to yourself. Resurrection can not happen without death first.
And death is terrible. It’s nasty. It’s stinky.
But I’m so thankful it doesn’t get the final word.
One of the most freeing things I heard this week was that if I could do this, I would have already done it. Lord knows I’ve tried. Our tendency is to recognize an issue and just go to work on it. To white-knuckle through it by ourselves and push on.
But for the first time, even thought I just want to be able to take care of it all by myself, I can admit I just can’t. And I can say that it’s honestly NOT even an issue of self-control.
He will do the work. And He wants to do it. That’s why He’s brought it into my consciousness now.
I just have to be obedient and willing to show up.
“…In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.”
So I repent. I rest. I’m quiet. I trust.
And I’m especially grateful that God doesn’t want us to just FEEL better, He wants us to GET better.
Bringing things into the light is the first step towards healing. So, here we go. Sunglasses in hand…
If you felt a similar twinge while reading this – put it out there. Or send me a message if you’d rather share on a smaller scale at first.
There is definitely freedom in facing your fears.